"Believe"

10.43am.....i was in de lab....y??due to our "good" tutor....dunno wat reason bt juz cancel de class....shld tel us earlier wat...waste our time....11am we still hv class...so v decide to wait at sch la...damned cool+tired....

Again, i slept in class...i m damned tired....so while waiting for de "do i hv the choice" to cum, i hv take a "small nap" in class...haha... reli juz a very small nap la...after tat, my energy finally cum bac lo...GREAT...

i make something bad to my fren again...so soli....plz forgiv me...i m de one who alwaz not believe him...yet still alwaz scold him for not believing me....wat i did had make somebody being hurted...actually i HATE ppl who do not trust me....so i shld understand de feeling of not being trust...yet, i still do de same thing to my fren...i m reli soli abt tat....i will try my best to change, bt plz giv me a chance to do tat...hehe.......

tml i m going to do the blood test with my frens... bt i scare to see de blood...so scary... so confused...shld i do de test?? the report will cum out on thurs.... wat if de result is nt gud...den how?? wat shld i do?? if i m goin to die, den how shld i inform my family, my dear and my frens?? haha.... i hv asked myself dis question start frm N years...i even thk tat wat kinds of funeral shld be taken.....sometime dis will make me very down and cry as well cos i scare tat ppl will forget me once i leave...do u thk tat i m stupid enough??mayb gua...cos i m stupid Maybel...

i dunno why i will thk in dis way....mayb i hv attended too many relatives' funeral gua...some reli close wit me, some not...i m reli scare somebody beside me to leave again...i cnt afford that again...it reli make me mad n down for a long long period....

after tat incident, ppl ard me thk tat i m brave n strong enugh....bt actually i m not as wat u all thk...i m useless...in fact, i din do anythg as well...bt i hv to bear part of the reason for his death....i dunno how to tell u wat i feel during tat time...and i believe tat no matter who in those situation also will do the same thg like wat i did oso...so plz dun thk tat i m vy brave....i m NOT at all....

i feel down again....y i alwaz put myself in dis situation?? STUPID....tat's all for tdy...gudnite

ps: after u saw dis post, plz dun mention dis to me in class.... i reli dunno how to reponse u....bt if u got anythg to tel me abt dis, plz kindly leave me a comment here or through msn or sms me la....thx for ur corporation....